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Is fear motivating?

Generations ago, women leaders had to instill fear in order to gain respect, but that method has long ago faded away. Today, I still encounter teachers, coaches, and sometimes parents, who feel the only way to get their point across is to be feared. Why is that?

I’ve come across coaches who bully their players with downright derogatory methods and negativity like nothing I’ve seen before. “You’re such a disappointment”, “You suck. Just flat out suck”, “You don’t look fit”, “Why are you even here?” Then those coaches brag to other coaches about how mean they are to their players. Could this treatment actually spur the best performance possible from their players? Does it work?

I honestly don’t get it. Supervisors can’t talk this way to their subordinates and if they do, maybe they should be fired? It’s definitely not professional. I don’t mean the coaches should coddle their players, but surely they shouldn’t verbally abuse them.

Not all coaches are like this, by any means, but should ANY behavior like this be tolerated?? I would think respect would go much further, but that’s just me. And what about the student/player? What can they do about a teacher, or coach, who verbally abuses them? If it’s a coach situation, the player might get benched if they speak up. A no-win situation, potentially. What are your thoughts? What advice would you offer up?

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Not ok? That’s ok!

Found this recently and thought it was perfect! I see so many people trying to portray a happy, unencumbered life. Makes me sad, because we all know life is seldom perfect and it I think those people are hiding from the truth. It’s ok to not be ok. It really is. Part of what’s wrong with the world today is the expectation to handle all that’s dealt to you with a smile on your face. It’s ok to show real doubt, sadness, or just plain unhappiness. We’re all human. Are you struggling with trying to maintain an “image”?

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Life is often painful, but there’s always a glimmer of hope

I’m sorry I’ve been AWOL for a little while, but I’m back and in a better mental and physical place. This last week has held moments of physical pain and times of uncertainty with a loved one’s medical issues, but thankfully, all is well…for now. I’m holding on to the silver linings and working hard to find the positives in life.

What do you do to overcome negativities? To conquer uncertainties? To feel good when life challenges you?

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This!

I love this photo so very much. It reminds me of one of my tattoos that says, “Alis Volat Propriis” above a fiery, sexy fairy on my left shoulder blade. Who knows what that Latin saying means? Feel free to comment below…

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Suicidal thoughts?

I have experienced family member’s suicides and I’m torn with my responses. On one hand, I’m mad. How DARE they leave their loved ones with so much pain? On the other hand, I feel relief that they are no longer in pain, suffering with the mental anguish of not wanting to live.

And of course, I’m left frustrated that it’s such a senseless death. So many unanswered questions…Was it avoidable? Could I have helped more? Did they really believe death was the ONLY answer? Why didn’t I see the signs?

It’s so final. Your last bad decision doesn’t define you.

Then I ask myself when I became God? Who am I to decide when someone should or shouldn’t die? The survivors hurt so much, but the person who commited suicide just couldn’t live with the pain anymore. Which person should experience the pain? Is it selfish to say YOU live with the pain. Instead of me mourning your loss?

If you’re having suicidal thoughts, there is help. 1-800-273-8255 if you’re in the States. Talk to me. I’m here for you…

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Honestly…

So this advice blog is about two days old. I’m pretty pleased so far, but one of my main goals, just so you know, is to meet the people who need me. I’m no therapist, psychologist, nor sociologist, but what I am is experienced, down-to-earth, and logical. I’ve got grown children and been married almost thirty years. I have lived life. I’m nowhere near completing my time on earth (I’m under 50 years old, I just started family life young!), hopefully, but I’ve been through so many up and downs on this worldly rollercoaster, that I know I’m qualified to help. I have several degrees, none of which are in an area that helps this blog, but I do have them if you need to see initials by my name. They’re useless in this regard.

The things I’ve lived through include severe medical issues within my immediate family, children with anxiety and/or depression (depending on the day), suicide within my direct circle and daily struggles we all experience. This blog is not strictly a happy-go-lucky place. Please don’t misunderstand. We’ll talk about the things no one else can stomach. We’ll hash out the ways you can be a better you. We might even argue about how you can turn your life around. It is possible, no matter how impossible it may feel.

I will post positive messages and I will challenge you to think deep, but please know I have a passion in helping people live the life they feel best living. I won’t tell you my thoughts are the only correct thoughts, nor will I preach anyone’s bible to you. Religion is area I feel is personal to you. In that regard, I’ll never pry or preach.

Knowing today is your darkest day is the beginning of turning your life around. Depression, anxiety, bipolar diagnosis, or any sort of mental health struggle does not make you handicapped, or less than a whole person. We are all different. We are all whole. It’s sharing our diversity, our life lessons, our best paths…our experiences that will make us all better, healthier, and happier people.

It’s my goal to make you happier. No matter what it takes. Whether you need motherly “nice” advice, or a kick in the pants “naughty” advice. Know that I’m here for you and always know your comments/questions are important to me. Either click on contact above and send me a message, or reach out through email at naughtyniceadvice@gmail.com ~ I look forward to meeting you all.

Welcome to my blog. Grab a cup of coffee or tea and please introduce yourself while your here.

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Depression- More of a female issue than male?

Just read an article that explained more women than men are typically depressed. It went on to say this may actually be a reflection that women just seek treatment more often than men, therefore it’s more recorded. What do you think? Are these statistics skewed because women ask for help more often than men? Or do you think statistically women are more susceptible to depression? Tell me your thoughts.

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To be happy…

If you will, please take a moment to tell me what would it take for you to be seriously happy with your life? Materials? Dreams? Family? Money? Dig deep and let me know, please. Whether posting a comment here or sending me a message through the “contact” page referenced above, I’d appreciate your feedback!

Woody Allen said, “The talent to being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have.”

Do you think that’s true? Or no?